I recently wrote some thoughts about the ridiculous interview question, "where do you see yourself in five years," but this month is all about the number four and the letter, "p." As this endless March begins to wind down, another spring break for the schools in Texas has come to an end. Four years ago, after the two of us met in Palm Springs, John returned home from his break and I went back to my Blue Awning Apartment. It's a testament to how something that may seem so trivial - booking a trip to a favorite destination - can shift the course of your life. One person who needed to decompress and one person convinced to make a last minute change of plans for Southern California instead of Mexico were on a path neither one could have predicted. I've mused over this turn of events so many times these past four years that I sometimes think I'm all out of thoughts on the topic. But something always happens to make me look at life over again.

John and I met this month in 2022. Despite the confines of what he could eat, which made meeting for lunch or ice cream an improbable event, we managed to settle on a cocktail. Because, like Paris, a cocktail is always a good idea.

I wasn't quite sure what to make of him when he exited his uber. He was for sure a pocket, and I was ready to arm myself with excuses on how to extrapolate myself, because, well, in my experience, that was always what was done. Yet somewhere in that first few minutes of our introduction, the thought of cutting things short was never a possibility. Since I vetoed two locations for being either too crowded or too loud to have any sort of conversation, he says the relationship potential was instant, but I say - well, I don't know what I say, so now, I just go along with his assessment. Also, I found it not so funny that one of the places that was too loud then is still too loud now, but there were more of us this time so it all worked out.

At any event, while we would have really loved to return to Paris, because among the things John and I  talked about that afternoon was our love for that city. Logistically and financially, it was a better option to return this spring break to the scene of the crime - Palm Springs. Just like when I returned to Boston after my initial move to San Francisco, and then to Los Angeles after my relocation to New York City, the cities that I left behind have, besides the inevitable new hotels and/or restaurants - were still the same. As in the past however, it was obvious that I was the one who had changed. I was, at first, hesitant to return to California. I had been single so long there and now being there as part of a couple was a pretty significant shift from the past. An old friend of mine once gave me a photo that said follow your heart even if it leads all the way to California, but sometimes, you just have to listen to more than your heart to discover your destination.

The desert is still a place full of majestic beauty, and never let it be said that the bartenders there don't know how to make a cocktail. Like our time in Paris, we had no set agenda other than, of course, going for coffee. Although one change I did not appreciate  was my favorite muffin was no longer baked at any of my favorite kofi locations. I had to make do with a banana walnut and then a blackberry bran. The double chocolate chocolate chip was too rich for morning consumption, but that didn't preclude us from getting some to devour later in the day. I didn't remember the sun and heat being so strong this time of year, which probably contributed to all of us getting more inebriated quicker that evening, but we didn't complain.

Like in Paris, it didn't matter if we went out to a bar. What mattered was the company I was with and the occasion I was there to celebrate. A far cry from our four years, our friends were celebrating 30 years together. The four (!) of us never ran out of conversation and traveling together was as simple and easy as our friendship. Four years ago, I was a stranger to this group. I couldn't tell if I'd be seen as an interloper, a part-time visitor they'd have no interest in getting to know or maybe just seen as a self proclaimed non-dater who had no concern beyond having a good time. To now, be sitting in a restaurant with them, enjoying a cocktail with the lights on the trees illuminating our perfect night was almost too overwhelming for me. I could remember a time in the past when I was part of four single people at this very location, and although I could never have imagined it, I couldn't have been happier with the change of cast. It was one of the reasons why I was so hesitant to return to the desert. Would I miss the person I was? Would I miss the previous playbill of performers?

The next day, while the temperature was still cool and pleasant,  I took a long walk to the airport to pick up our rental car for the rest of the week. As I passed streets where I had previously stayed and bittersweetly remembered great times with friends who are no longer living and adventures with those who are in previous chapters, I realized this was a place I will always enjoy but after this visit, not a place that holds new experiences to discover for a Sadie.  Later in the week, as I drove us all by my Blue Awning Apartment, I merely pointed out the building. There was no reason to linger. Its awnings were still a vibrant color, but like all my previous addresses, I don't like to go back. They existed for a specific time in my life and I want to keep them where they remain. Even the house I grew up in - with my mother gone - there's no connection left. 

Spring break four years after that first monumental meeting, as much as I will always love California made me fully embrace who I was then and who I am now. The stories of my time in the cities I called home never fail to entertain and they are always good for a laugh over drinks and dinner in this new and future chapters of life. In the past, I don't think I fully stopped to appreciate where I was in life. I don't pine  to return to any of the places I called home in the past (see what I did there?). With a ring on my finger, there are so many more places to see. But something tells me, that this time, as Limontella, home base will be that city that starts with "P."